Twitter/The Onion — Henrik Blix

Published Onion Headlines Below

Study Finds Snow Leopards Lead Solitary Lifestyle Because They’re Arrogant Bastards Who Think They’re Better Than Everybody Else

Game Of Thrones Fans Annoyed By Obvious Product Placement For Valyrian Steel

Friend Has Some Jerky In Clear, Unlabeled Bag For You To Try

Demonic Spirit Claws Way Out Of Hell To Flicker Lights, Throw Some Silverware Around

Toddler Can’t Shake Urge To Find Out What Knife Tastes Like

Sensei’s Assistant Really Getting His Ass Whipped

Kidnapper Pleasantly Surprised To Find Word ‘Ransom’ In Magazine He Cutting Letters Out Of

Submarine Captain’s Favorite Part Of Job Yelling ‘Dive! Dive! Dive!’

‘Huh, That’s Kind Of Weird,’ Thinks Fruit Fly Diving Into Dish Of Honey Containing Corpses Of 15 Other Fruit Flies

A quick response to allegations about my mental state during self quarantine pic.twitter.com/rclDtQOUCZ
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) March 20, 2020

IS THIS HAPPENING TO ANYONE ELSE??? pic.twitter.com/2ZKnQNBqoK
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) March 16, 2020

In a new personal low, I have sent a “no worries if not haha” to my doctor
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) February 23, 2021

Thoughtful men only want one thing and it’s discussing
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) November 6, 2021

Officially trying out to be an @NFL quarterback!! pic.twitter.com/nsK5FQ9OCA
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) January 21, 2020

This is how REAL patriots salute the flag!!! pic.twitter.com/1X5S34jfmG
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) February 25, 2020

Please weigh in and help me with this difficult decision pic.twitter.com/2AlHOXutLx
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) April 2, 2020

On a business trip getting things done. pic.twitter.com/BUTIKjQjW7
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) January 29, 2020

Send help pic.twitter.com/3LmpPElgge
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) January 11, 2020

My wife, June Carter Cash (@XoGossipGeorge) and I made you something for Valentine's Day. pic.twitter.com/8GcQebysqo
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) February 14, 2020

It is not “humbling” to win an Oscar. It’s humbling to wake up at 6am to record a voiceover audition before work where you say the line “I’m hungee for snackees!” 40 times in a row to “get it right” for a 1 in 5000 chance of earning $300
— Henrik Blix (@henrikontheweb) February 18, 2020